Jack of all trades, master of none. This concept has existed since the late 1500s accordng to our best knowledge.
I seemed to have dedicated my time into being a Jack of all trades, master of one: Music. And even then if you can count that. I've heard many who consider me a talented producer, I think that is total bullshit, the only ones who say that are the ones who don't know jack shit about music production.
I used to, in my head, call people fucking idiots for liking my music. It brought me shame to feel like I had a skill in anything, especially anything as talented as music.
Storytime: The group of people who caused me my biggest chunk of trauma, and were named dropped on Blood Beridian and mentioned in CRASHOUT, despite hating me to the point of trying to get me to kill myself, they still thought I was talented as a musician. If those who seek my torment and even demise see me as a jack of one trade, why do I deny the right to see myself any joy of my craft.

Don't get me wrong okay, I love making music, but after The Death Of Gilgamesh I had lost my way because I say 3k. Blood Meridian was supposed to be an album that was deeply personal to me do to everything going on in my life, by time the album finished I was homeless staring at all my meds looking at them in a hotel room after my "friend" told me to come to a city an hour and a half away only to kick me to a hotel room. I am only alive today because of Blood Meridian, despite how you feel about the quality of it or not, my headspace is why it sounds like that.
But it still wasn't true to me, I wanted to fit in with the local "Trap-Metal" scene in Austn at the time not accepting the clique culture already establishged
And I already hated them niggas
So what could have been a deeply experimental call for help and a audio representation of C-PTSD turned into a mesh of shit mixing and a nigga screaming his trauma high on seroquel.
None of the albums I made in 2025 were actually me. YAXP3dSCPITH was close but I was still in my trap metal arc.
And now JETT
It's a shame to say this quick after an album releases I have this many regrets about it, especially after everyone says it's good to great, no one says it's bad but, it's not me, it's not my sound, and for the topics I hit on this album I should have thrived. I hate this album. I hated it a week after it finished and I hated it more when it dropped.
I wrote a whole paragraph talking about my dislike for this album, but I deleted it because it truly was, horrid to read.
I think I lost to learn how to have fun with music to be honest. I lost the idea of being true to myself. I truly did, pledge allegiance to the bag, get the bag by any means.
I am currently trying to find my joy in music in life again, even if it pushes away all the fans I have I don't care. I rather create what I want and let that grow than make what I think others want and spin in circles.
So back to my point I was trying to make, I guess in some regards I have a talent, I don't see it, I don't know what it is. But honestly my piss is gold I guess. So fuck it. Jack of all trades, master of one. To my demons I still succumb.